Practice acceptance, and accept the reality of your life. This doesn’t mean you do not try to change things or that you become a helpless victim.
Here is a famous poem:
“God grant me the serenity to accept things I can’t change ,
Change the thing I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”
What is one small problem that you can accept? DBT calls this radical acceptance. Pick something you can’t change right at this moment.
Write down your thoughts down here. Are you fused with your thoughts and emotions? Are you your emotions and thoughts?
To feel better, you need to defuse your thoughts and emotions. How do you do that? Try naming your thoughts like “Here is my not good enough thought” or “Here is my anger emotion again”. Try repeating it in a silly voice. Do not try to change your thoughts or emotions. Just watch what happens.
The above is from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy). How to defuse a fused thought or emotion? The problem is, when we de-stress, we fuse with our thoughts and emotions, which causes more anxiety and suffering.
It is helpful to say to yourself “Here is this thought or feeling again.” Try saying your thought in a funny voice or seeing it on a computer screen make it small, then big. and play with it in your mind.
Do not try to make it go away, though sometimes it will by itself.
Focus on you values (pick 3 to 5 that are most important to you.) Strive to work on them. Write out goals that support your values